


Learning to Breathe

by Frangipanidownunder



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-25 06:53:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10759032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frangipanidownunder/pseuds/Frangipanidownunder
Summary: This is a short missing scene story written for a prompt about what it would be like for Mulder to attend a Lamaze class with Scully. A bit on the angsty side.





	Learning to Breathe

She watched him for a while. Watched the vein in his temple flex. Watched his lips move as his eyes skimmed the pages. Watched his fingers drum against the chair handle. A metronomic tapping that perhaps kept him contained, safe from whatever monsters he fought in his mind. He was secure in this new world he had created since his return. A closed-off world where he kept his thoughts to himself, his fears locked away, his memories buried, his emotions bottled.

Ironic that she, of all people, should be so furious with him for being this way now. Fox Mulder, believer; who leapt in feet first, who wondered and dreamed and demanded the truth. The same Fox Mulder who had opened her eyes to possibilities and miracles, who had shown her life beyond edges and horizons and had shaken her faith in science on a weekly basis. She still mourned him, that Mulder, the one she had buried. He might be returned in a physical sense but he was far from home.

‘Scully, how long have you been standing there?’ That other Mulder would have smiled or flirted. Made a wisecrack about eavesdropping.

This one just asked.

‘Not long. Just came to see how you were.’

‘Oh, you know, I’m loving every minute of my enforced retirement. Catching up on some reading. Shooting hoops. Hanging with the boys. I can’t believe I didn’t do this earlier.’

She sat on his couch, rubbing her hands over swollen belly. ‘You did tell me just before you…that maybe the FBI was right, that there really is so much more…’

‘To life?’ He stared at her belly.

‘Yes,’ she whispered.

He blew out a sharp breath through his nose, leant forward, elbows on his knees. He closed his eyes, steepled his hands against his mouth. Scully recognised the pattern, remembered the way he would deliberate over his choice of words when he had something weighty to tell her, something that might challenge her. She held her breath, listening to the filter in the fish tank, the murmur of traffic on the street below.

Mulder turned around in his chair, turned on the PC. She saw the tension set in his shoulders. Mulder was back in his safe place again.

She reached the door before he called out her name. She held the door handle, gripping the cool metal.

‘Scully, don’t go.’

‘I’m late, Mulder.’

‘For what?’

She turned then. He stood before her, in the middle of his apartment, a man who’d faced mutants and monsters and vile humans, a man who’d infuriated her, teased her, saved her, loved her. A man who’d been abducted and returned but who hadn’t yet come back.

He was lost.

‘For Lamaze class,’ she said, stepping towards him. ‘Did you want to come?’

His eyes lowered to her belly again.

‘I’d love you to be there, Mulder.’

The room was airy and bright. The other couples were young and bright. The atmosphere was fizzing with energy and hope. Mulder hung back, reading the posters on the wall, hands in pockets.

‘If you don’t feel comfortable, you don’t have to stay,’ she said, taking a chance and grazing his elbow.

He flinched at her touch but offered her a brief smile. ‘I’m fine, Scully.’

Her fingers flattened around his forearm, slipping down to his hand and she held his gaze as he closed his fingers around hers. ‘We can do this, Mulder. Together.’

He nodded.

The instructor’s voice floated over her as she closed her eyes and leant back into Mulder.

‘Relax and breathe out, breathe out slowly.’

He linked his hands under her bump and he gasped. She twisted her face up towards him. She could feel him trembling.

‘Are you okay, Mulder?’

‘It’s…I’ve never touched…I can’t…’

She felt him shift, ready to spring up, but she placed her hands on his knees, splayed either side of her. ‘It’s fine, you’re fine. You just need to learn to breathe again.’

He let out a tiny whimper and his face fell into her shoulder. ‘I’m sorry, Scully. I can’t do this,’ he whispered.

‘You can, Mulder. Everything is going to be all right.’

His tears left a hot trail trickling down her neck.

‘Relax and breathe out, breathe out slowly.’ She lifted one hand up against his cheek and with her other she covered his hand against her side.

The baby kicked and rolled and he half-gasped, half-giggled into her neck. ‘It’s real, Scully. It’s really real.’

‘Yes, Mulder. This is the truth, right here.’ She patted her tummy and the baby obliged with another kick.

He shuddered out a sigh.

‘Breathe, Mulder. Relax and breathe with me.’


End file.
